You Can Call Me Al - Junior Apprentice, Episode 1

Wow! 9 minutes in and already I want to punch at least eight of the contestants in the face I feel that I have wasted my life and I am totally inadequate at everything I do.  Here we have 16 and 17 year olds who have had their own businesses for three years and more whereas MY sixteen year old is languishing in his bedroom playing war games on the X-Box with some other no-mark from America and hasn't even got a Saturday job.  He should be revising for his GCSE's, which start next week but, let's face it, if he doesn't know it now, over-cramming isn't going to make it any better for him.

I am thinking of making him sit in the room with me - we shall both wear suits - and hope that some of their business acumen rubs off on us both but I daren't venture into the room of stiff sheets and boy smells to drag him out.  Plus, his "suit" (out of school uniform, which actually IS a suit - ironically, he attends a business college) consists of trackies, trainers and a hoodie.

Back in the boardroom, Margaret has had the most amazing facelift Karen Brady has stepped into Margaret Mountford's comfortable brogues, Nick Hewer is still sucking his teeth dramatically and Lord Alan of Sugar is down with the kids, reminding them that there are to be no Facebook parties back at the house (cue tumbleweed...).

The girls (Revolution) are going to be the winners here - all bitching, backstabbing and boobie hugs - and the boys (Instinct) are going to be too competitive and turn on each other.  Jordan (the boy in the blue tie) will end up being Prime Minister one day - mark my works.

Finally, a word to Frances (or whatever the receptionist is called now) - "Lord Sugar will see you now" doesn't quite have the same ring to it as "Srallen will see you now" - show some initiative and tell him.  I'd also love to know why you have such a tidy, empty desk.

Photo Credit:  Google Images