The Bloggers Paunch

Counting the ripples on your Bloggers Paunch is like counting the rings on the inside of a tree.  One ripple for each year of blogging.

Back in the day before the internet existed, before I worked full time and when I was at home with three energetic children I was fairly active and my weight wasn't so much of an issue.  Exercise consisted of:

  • walking almost everywhere with a pushchair permanently attached to the palms of my hands 
  • running up and down the stairs 1937 times a day for 3 x trips to the toilet and whatever else a child needs supervising with 
  • going back up the stairs again with a sigh when I realise I'd forgotten to take the clean washing/toiletries/toy with me and they were a bit of a hazard on the bottom step
  • housework
  • tidying up toys 283 times a day
  • refereeing 18 fights a day
  • returning to the local shop 4 times a day for items forgotten on each of the previous trips
  • the thrice-daily school/nursery run 
  • a walk to the phone box a couple of times a week to keep in touch with family
  • not really eating much apart from when I cooked too much at the children's meal times or eating their leftovers 
  • not really drinking too much as young children and hangovers don't really mix plus the cost of babysitters were extortionate 

Nowadays, I work full time and the children are older so I am pretty much left to my own devices.  Exercise consists of:

  • walking to the car to drive to work, to sit at a desk all day, then repeat in reverse
  • climbing the stairs only when really desperate for the toilet making sure that I take everything with me so I don't have to go up again
  • shared housework chores because people who live in my house need to earn their keep
  • sitting on the settee at home, or at my desk at home, with my laptop within reach, socially networking and writing random blog posts
  • reaching into my purse to dish out money when I send one of the children to the corner shop 
  • using the house phone, mobile phone, Facebook and Twitter to keep in touch with others
  • shared dog walking duties because if people in my house want a dog then they need to understand the responsibility
  • eating far too much, far too often
  • drinking far too much, far too often

I have developed what can only be described as a "bloggers paunch".  This is a roll of fat that has appeared, as if by magic, but is easily disguised when stood up.  When you sit in front of your computer or laptop it is somewhere to rest your boobs and keeps your lap warm.  It can be a place to keep a pen or a stray biscuit, even a prop for your wine glass whilst you type a response on Twitter.  You can warm your hands between the creases on a cold evening and it can be used as a buffer between your body and the desk when you scoot your chair in too quickly.

Please tell me I am not the only one with a Bloggers Paunch.

...and lets not get started on the Bloggers Hunch...