The other day, whilst out with my husband, I was listening to some UB40 in the car and wondered what they were up to now. Then I saw this post from Buzzfeed and realised I totally needed to steal that idea. BUT the problem with doing a "Where Are They Now" of the 80s is that they are either dead, accountants (dead accountants?) or in their mid 50's and, having realised they have snorted their pension up their nose, are dragging themselves onto the Reunion Tour concert circuit.
So here are my chosen few that form my A-Z of 80's 'Where Are They Now?'
Do you fancy adding any of your own?
Art Of Noise. Last seen looking for Peter Gunn and desperately hoping that Tom Jones tells a "I know Art Of Noise" story about them on The Voice.
Billy Idol. Currently setting off airport alarms all over the world after having a steel rod inserted into his leg following a motorbike accident in 1990. Practicing Rebel Yell on Guitar Hero in case needed for the next Downpour [sic] Festival.
Cameo. Polishing his red jockstrap... just in case...
Enya. Sat in a white room on a white chair having Orinoco Flow piped into her headphones 24 hours a day.
Falco. Died in car accident in 1988 and is currently in the world beyond discussing use-of-name royalties with Wolfgang (Rock Me) Amaddeus Mozart. Yes, that's his real name. What?
Go West. Peter Cox is still attempting to overcome the embarrassment of forgetting the words to his song on Reborn In The USA. Richard Drummie is nearing the end of the royalties acquired from the Pretty Woman OST.
Harold Faltermeyer. Serving time in jail for cruelty to music after allowing Jamster (the ringtone company) to create the Crazy Frog campaign.
Johnny Hates Jazz. With more break-ups and get-back-togethers than JR and Sue Ellen, they are probably reminiscing their Shattered Dreams right now.
Kenny Loggins. The "King Of The Eighties Movie Soundtrack" doesn't have to have done anything else. He might be runner-up in a Michael McDonald look-a-like competition though.
LL Cool J. The Ladies might have Loved Cool James (yes, that's really what LL Cool J stood for) but I can't remember a single song that he had out. I do remember him simulating shagging a settee whilst singing on some awards show once though. Multi-tasker!
Musical Youth. I really hope they're spliffed up somewhere, passing the
dutchie kouchie to the left hand side *sits cross-legged and waits turn*
OMD. Britpop killed Electro. Therefore, Oasis and Blur killed OMD. The ending result was the formation of Atomic Kitten. And that, my friends, is why things should never change.
Pepsi & Shirlie. Some people are just meant to be backing singers. This pair of backing singers went from supporting Wham to attempting to make it on their own. Their punishment was to sing backing for Geri Halliwell's "Bag It Up". Let that be a lesson to you.
Q-Tips (thanks @gruntledwampa for the reminder). Some of the original members are still trying to work out where to put the vowels in SYSLJFM (The Letter Song) and the rest of them are still hunting for Paul Young in their 1982 game of Hide and Seek.
Rick Astley. Bringing joy into the lives of everyone all over the world (click the link)
Sinitta. After building a career on a "Is she or isn't she shagging Simon Cowell?" non-story, she can now (apparently) be relied upon to 'leak' X-Factor information when the show needs a ratings boost.
UB40. Where ARE they now, indeed? Kiss and make up, lads. This country needs your vibe. (A "Lame To Fame" moment here... a friend's brother worked on the production of "Wear You To The Ball". Such a cool job.)
Van Halen. The epitome of "greatness" in music. Also the innovators of the 'rider' (pre- or post- performance 'wish list') and the M&M's story is apparently the truth, m'lud.
Weather Girls. I wonder if they'd have had more success if they'd have kept their original name of "Two Tons o'Fun"?
XTC. Sorry, I had to cheat on this one. I've read their Wikipedia page and I'm still none the wiser. Anyone? Anyone?
Yazoo. Five songs CAN make you memorable if they are the right five songs. And the 80's bred fantastic 'mean and moody' keyboard players, didn't they?
ZZ Top. Every person should be made to enact their surname, if appropriate. Still touring apparently. ZZ Imerframe?