A few months ago I found some old pictures of myself; a time when I didn't appreciate the body I had and didn't think twice about fitting into a swimsuit or bikini.
As time has gone on, I've become more body-conscious but have also realised that a lot of the pressure to have a 'perfect body' comes from my own perception of what is printed in the media. Almost four years ago to the day I wrote about this in a blog post - 'This Isn't The Body I Want But It's The Body I've Got' - where I sort of conclude with the thought that I wish I was as fat as I was when I first though I was fat... but it doesn't really matter because it's only really me and the Daily Mail that cares, isn't it? Fast forward to 2018 and I'm finally on track with fitness and weight loss in a way that I'm happy about.
A few weeks ago, we went on holiday to Tenerife. I fancied some new 'sitting out in the sun and looking like a supermodel' type swimwear so I read loads of articles about how to find the right style of swimsuit for your body (or draw attention away from the most disliked parts of my body which has changed drastically over the years) and tried to work out how many different coloured bikinis I would need to have just the right amount of 'mix and match' outfits but then I gave myself a bit of a shake.
A few weeks ago, we went on holiday to Tenerife. I fancied some new 'sitting out in the sun and looking like a supermodel' type swimwear so I read loads of articles about how to find the right style of swimsuit for your body (or draw attention away from the most disliked parts of my body which has changed drastically over the years) and tried to work out how many different coloured bikinis I would need to have just the right amount of 'mix and match' outfits but then I gave myself a bit of a shake.
I forced myself to not look at the size on the label and find something that would be comfortable enough to sit on a sun lounger whilst sipping a cold drink and reading my Kindle for a few hours a day. I had to take my own advice about not conforming to a particular size or shape, especially when age and lifestyle has a lot to answer for in the way my body looks at the moment.
But... after finding a style that suited me, for the first time in many years I felt a bit more confident about walking around the pool wearing a swimsuit and actually get a little colour on my skin. And, if we're being totally honest, no-one is really looking at me anyway - and I'm OK with that.
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The "hashtag not sponsored" section : I hate writing this paragraph but it's necessary. Occasionally I collaborate with companies to share a link that I'm happy to recommend - in this instance it was Simply Beach who sell the most amazing swimwear for all shapes and sizes. Please see my disclosure policy for more details about why I partners with companies like this and why I'll only recommend products that I have tried and love.