I've just returned from watching Jake in the Junior Nativity Play. This was, as the title suggests, a poignant nativity for me because I realised that it was the last time I'd ever see any of my children in a traditional nativity. I started crying the minute the curtains opened and showed Year 3 singing (I know not one single child in Year 3, 4 or 5) and continued crying until the curtain closed for the final time half an hour later *rolls eyes*.
Yes, I'm pathetic. It's official.
This Nativity play was called "Round The Back" and was the traditional nativity story interspersed with modern day references. The grumpy innkeeper just wanted some sleep because he'd been busy rehearsing for Strictly Come Dancing, the light from the star was compared to the light from a Nintendo DS in a darkened room, the Angels danced to "The Eve Of The War" from War of the Worlds and the Three Kings auditioned in front of the X-Factor judges. The role of Simon Cowell was acted by, yes, you've guessed it - Jake!! He got the biggest laughs by playing to the crowd (hitching his trousers up, rolling his eyes and arguing with Louis) and showed off his dancing skills when the judges danced with the Kings (I know... very surreal). I think the headteacher is a closet disco fan because, apart from the Angels' dance and the final song (sung by the whole ensemble) all the songs were rearranged/reworded Abba tunes.
There was no drama, no-one burst into tears, no-one forgot their lines (in fact, ALL the cast were word perfect), baby Jesus' head didn't fall off and all the kids sung their hearts out (mostly in tune). I'm just sad it's all over. For ever.