First of all, note the paper I am writing on. Your love of Filofax will never wane so embrace the YUPPIE jokes and stick with your instincts.
I saw you walking down the street yesterday. Well, the 'you' that would have been had you had long bleached hair. The rest was the same; as skirt as short as you were allowed to get away with at school, white over-knee socks pushed down in wrinkles, headphones on, khaki satchel-type school bag slung over your shoulder covered in black marker style graffiti. It is 2013 but it felt as though I had been zapped back 25 years.
You have no idea how beautiful you are and it's easy to see that there are two of you. The lonely, bullied, struggling girl at school and the vibrant dancer/runner thriving outside of the school setting. I wish you would speak up and explain that you find school difficult to cope with for all the various reasons but that quiet determination will be such a positive quality later in life.
In a couple of years you will find the need to start afresh. Changing your name is a good starting point. That way there is a definite past and future. It's much easier to find the new you this way.
A couple of things you need to know for the next couple of years...
~ refusing the magic mushrooms is a wise move
~ keep writing and jotting down ideas
~ you will love 'the internet' - trust me on this one
~ put aside money each month for 'the internet' - make it priority after rent and food
There are times in your life when you will want to throw the towel in. Don't! Just don't! You will feel as though you are always the one that people lean on but sometimes you have to be that person. It's OK to be that person.
Finally, trust your instincts. Mostly they are right but sometimes you have to fail to succeed.
PS. 'The internet' means that you write less with a pen. Not a bad thing in general but it means that when you need to write a letter 25 years later your hand aches. A LOT! It's worth it though.