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Things To Do Before I Turn 50

  (also known as my "TA-DA" list as opposed to a "to do" list) It was my 49th birthday a few days ago and this got me thinking. Any birthday that ends with a zero always feels a bit like milestone or a landmark and, when I hit the big "five-o" in 2022, I don't want huge parties or celebrations but I would like to have ticked a few things off my low-effort bucket list.   I see these things as a way to improve my mental and physical health, plus a few slightly off-the-wall experiences that would make for great memories.  Start running again and include the following: Lead a C25K group again  Participate in parkrun EVERY week where possible  < ongoing (now parkrun Run Director too) Visit local landmarks whilst running  Train for a long race - building up from 5k > 10k > 10 miles > half marathon, with a couple of longer trail races mixed in  Lose a lot bit of weight Post more on Instagram or give the blog a bit of a reboot < ongoing Look at

Listography : Phrases That Drive Me Mad

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It's Listography time again and this week it's all about those phrases that drive me mad.  I've been told I absolutely have to stick to five this time and that is why I'm late posting.  I had about fifteen at the first count, whittled down to eight by yesterday and this is the final cut.

So, in no particular order...

1.  Anyone who uses a catchphrase from The Only Way Is Essex to describe something... like 'reem' or 'well jel'.
Just Shuuuut Uuuuup There's a reason these people are only allowed on non-terrestrial television.  It's to limit their contact with intelligent human beings.

2.  "Om nom nom."
Really?  You can't say, "tasty" or "delicious".  You're an adult talking to another adult, for fuck's sake!
(I'm going to get lynched for this one...)

3.  "It must be a computer error, ma'am."
It's the bloody humans that programmed the computers, dickhead!

4.  Those people who call me 'Hun' or 'Chick' on social media platforms.
I have idea where/how it started but frigging stop it!  I'm a 39 year old grandparent.  Come to think of it I don't even like the terms 'chick flick' (f'nar) or 'chick lit'.

5.  "It was in the last place I looked".
What really fucking normal person is going to carry on looking AFTER they have found their lost item?

To see what didn't didn't make the cut put your cursor here...
~ upskill 
~ upcycle
~ shaaaa-ting 
~ #uksnow
~  "Can you be at an event in London in two days time for an event that is going to last 1.5 hours?"
~ "I'm not being funny/rude/personal but..."
~ "No offence, but..."
~ innit
~ "That awkward moment when [insert awkward moment that's probably made up]"
~ examples of text speak and bad spelling
...and drag to here.