During my teenage years, I openly questioned my faith and the teachings of the Catholic Church. I found it hard to take in the three ways in which my school taught about the 'beginning of the world'. In physics we were told about The Big Bang, in biology we were taught about evolution and in religious studies we were taught about God creating man. It's a lot for a teenager to take in.
But, in the words of the Joan Osbourne song, what if God (or Jesus) was actually here on Earth at the moment? You know, like in the way that Morgan Freeman appears as the hobo at the end of Bruce Almighty or Chris Ecclestone in (the aptly named) The Second Coming? If you saw today's This Morning with AJ Miller and Mary Luck who proclaim to be Jesus and Mary Magdalene there is a certain gentleness that draws you in and makes you question that if the belief was there 2000 years ago then why can't it be here now? Of course I think it's just another cult or chancer but there are obviously plenty of people out there who believe (or want to believe). For me it just puts more questions out there.
And, of course, this is the modern, digital world. We all know what would happen as soon as the Second Coming was confirmed:
- Followers would be counted in Twitter numbers
- Sermons would be conducted by Google Hangout
- The Top 10 Miracles be listed on BuzzFeed
- Magic programmes would be commissioned on the 'Watch' channel including walking on water (um...)
- There would be an interview with the main players on This Morning (oh, hang on...)
- Jeremy Kyle would conduct the all important DNA results on the Holy Grail
- The Disciples would be invited to participate in a Holy version of Big Brother
- The Pope would be looking into an unfair dismissal case
What can you add? How do you think The Second Coming would be different?
As as aside, I'm going straight to Hell now, aren't I?