The Body Is Back

Pipe down fellas, I didn't mean Elle McPherson but you may want to stick around to read the rest of this post.
A link flashed up in my Facebook feed earlier and I gawped in horror... THE BODY is back and this time it's being used as OUTERWEAR and not underwear!! 
Now, I'm no fashonista but the last time I wore one of these was in the early 1990's and it was one of the most uncomfortable experiences that I have ever had.
  • They are never long enough for my body
  • The "smooth lines" they create just emphasise all the flaws; the lumps and bumps
  • Fastening them up requires me to become a contortionist and fold myself in half somehow.  And if, god forbid, I'm wearing my glasses, as soon as I bend over and look between my legs then the glasses slide down my nose and swing from my ears rendering me almost blind
  • Going to the toilet is impossible as I have to re-create Point #3 
  • They unfasten at the most inopportune times
  • I'm forever picking the material out from between my arse cheeks
So, rest assured, I won't be purchasing anything remotely "clingy" or "fitted" or body-shaped in the near future - I wouldn't subject you to that.  However, in a weirdly connected way, kudos to Katy Brand for her performance on Saturday on Let's Dance For Sport Relief.  This is how the slightly larger women can look FAB-U-LOUS in a leotard.

Footnote:  Do NOT search for "body stocking" on Google, on a work computer, without the safe search activated.



... why not share this blog post and then come and talk to me on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram instead?
Blog Layout Designed by pipdig