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Things To Do Before I Turn 50

  (also known as my "TA-DA" list as opposed to a "to do" list) It was my 49th birthday a few days ago and this got me thinking. Any birthday that ends with a zero always feels a bit like milestone or a landmark and, when I hit the big "five-o" in 2022, I don't want huge parties or celebrations but I would like to have ticked a few things off my low-effort bucket list.   I see these things as a way to improve my mental and physical health, plus a few slightly off-the-wall experiences that would make for great memories.  Start running again and include the following: Lead a C25K group again  Participate in parkrun EVERY week where possible  < ongoing (now parkrun Run Director too) Visit local landmarks whilst running  Train for a long race - building up from 5k > 10k > 10 miles > half marathon, with a couple of longer trail races mixed in  Lose a lot bit of weight Post more on Instagram or give the blog a bit of a reboot < ongoing Look at

Is it me or is it them?

Did I disappoint every one again?
You know when you feel you can't do right for doing wrong...
Is that why they have all but cut me out of their lives
Or do I have to try harder to make them

I have to question if they still love me or
If live just takes over, as I know it does.
Is it because the memory of the one person
That held us together is

I said the wrong thing and apologised
But it didn't mend the gap
Only made it wider.
When that happens, do you leap or do you

No-one to ask how I'm doing or
How I am coping with everything here.
Everyone expecting me to carry on being
The strong one.  Which, at the best of times is

Two people, ignoring me and still
Expecting me to make an effort.
Talking shouldn't be this hard and
I just want someone to tell me I'm doing