Screw Fix?

I have become acquainted with people from all walks of life during my time online.  What I never expected was the revelation that one of those friends was the owner of a now-defunct online adult toy store.   He was clearing the attic out one day and discovered a couple of boxes of old stock.  I logged on to our mutual forum to find him offering free goodie boxes to his friends.  First come, first served.

Well, what's a girl to do?  Free is free, right?  And everything needs renewing from time to time, doesn't it?

So we conversed a little by email and he arranged to send the box by courier so that it would arrive, in plain packaging, on a Saturday.  The doorbell rang at about 2pm and I signed for the box.  It was heavy and I also noticed that it was sealed with 'Screwfix' branded tape.  "You sarcastic, sod, Andy!" I sniggered under my breath.  It was uncharacteristically quiet in our house so I prepared to peel off the tape and have a sneak preview.

I was greeted with a box full of nuts and bolts - varying shape and sizes. Cue: confused face

Five seconds later someone rattled the letterbox.  I went to answer the door and found a very flustered courier holding a slightly smaller box.  He explained that he had turned up at the next delivery address and noticed that he had mixed the packages up.  I quickly resealed the first box and made the swap, noting that my box hadn't been tampered with.  *Phew*

Can you imagine what the other person would have thought if they'd have been presented with a box full of appendages of varying colour, shape and size and an abundance of other kinky paraphernalia instead of their shiny silver bits and pieces?

Oh, and you know how Emily had problems finding a way to dispose of a vibrator?  We had the same dilemma with two full sized half-arm fists.  In their original packaging.  And, no, you can't list them on eBay, so I found out, but you can triple bag them and put them in the "non-recyclable" crusher at your local waste disposal centre.