Facebook Status Updates

I am lucky enough to have lots of great Facebook friends.  Family, old school friends I have recently got back in touch with, fellow bloggers, internet companions and people who I know in real life.  You all know I'm a bit of a pedant when it comes to spelling and grammar so sometimes I want to SCREAM when I see status updates such as these:

  1. Cnt w8 4 2nyt gna get ratha drunk
  2. Cnt w8 4 ma bbys christmas play 2mo excitddddd 
  3. led in bed watchin two of my fish fighting gonna turn there light out .then i mite fall asleep . gudnite all 
  4. If I dont see you threw week I'll see you threw window! 
  5. wants to get jiggy wiv u
  6. I fote dat film was crap lol 
  7. kk hun dats fyn x x
  8. Uz all set 4 chrimbo then? Cant w8 to c wat [name] has bought me lol x
  9. bin waitin half hour for bacon to cook .. not even turned cooker on am i think or wot lol
  10. lmao you think i think that clear to see same you don ha ha ha

Shall we break this down?  And I think we'll ignore most of the txtspk even though it drives me just as mad.
  1. OK... so we'll have 115 photos uploaded tomorrow of  you and all your mates posing for the camera, pouting, with the camera held at arms lengths.  Oh and lots of lads in the background leering.
  2. You're *that* excited that it was really necessary to have 5 "d"s?
  4. THROUGH!!
  5. er..... I don't think so...
  6. a. What film? b. THOUGHT!
  7. forgo the kisses and add the extra letter(s) into the previous words so they are spelt correctly
  8. Chrimbo? AARRGGHH I hate that word!
  9. Half an hour?  You never thought anything was amiss after, say, three minutes?
  10. I have no idea - can someone translate for me please?

Disclaimer: Even though these are real status updates from my Facebook news feed, it's all meant as tongue in  cheek and it would be interesting to see if any of the culprits comment below *evil laugh*