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Taking advantage...

Parents, I have a small piece of advice for you.  When your child falls and breaks his (or her) foot in two places DO NOT say to them:

"To save you moving, love, just ring me from your mobile."


because they may take advantage.  

broken foot in plaster*dinky text tone* 
Is it time for my pain-killers yet? It's really sore. I keep getting muscle spasms and the dog keeps sitting on it.

*ring ring* 
Jake: It's really itchy!
Me: I'll get you a knitting needle.
Jake: What's a knitting needle?
Me: It's like a long stick.
Jake: Huh?

*dinky text tone*
It is time for my pain-killers yet?

*dinky text tone that's starting to get annoying now*
Can I have a drink, please?

*dinky text tone that I swear I'm going to change in a minute*
England won. I'm going upstairs. Can you shut the baby gate after me?

*dinky text tone that I forgot to change that is now driving me mental*
I'm sitting in Michael's bedroom for a bit.

*ring ring* (this one at 2am)
Kev: Nic, your phone is ringing!
Me: mrgha-fuckin'ell-mrgha It's Jake. Fuck!
Kev: Huh? 
Me: I told him to ring me if he needed anything.
*stumbles round the bedroom with eyes stuck shut due to hayfever weeping earlier*
Kev: Daft bitch. I bet he's been taking advantage of that.
Me: No, it's fine...
*one eye squint stumble down the landing*
Jake: I've lost my knitting needle.  I think it's downstairs on the settee
*one eye squint stumble down the stairs, find knitting needle, one eye squint back up the stairs, hand knitting needle to Jake, stumble out of room*
Jake: Thanks mum. I thought you'd still be up.
Me: Not really.  It's 2 o'clock.
Jake: I can't sleep. Can I have another pain-killer yet?
Kev (*shouting from the other room*): Mum's got work tomorrow.  Try and go to sleep.
*stumble back to bed, lie down, close eyes*
Kev: Did you know [name of friend]'s girlfriend has died? It's all over Facebook.
Me: mrgha-no love-mrgha-Ineedtogotosleep-how did she die?
Kev: Don't know. I'll find out tomorrow. I know her name but don't know who she is.
Me: mrgha-Ineedsleeeeeeeep-mrgha
Kev: Whatever...

It has been 36 hours since he broke his foot in two places.  Only another 3 weeks, 4 days to go then...
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