It is that time of year again. We submit our most mediocre song of the year to the biggest song contest on our continent and attempt to win a hugely political vote.
I don't normally write about the Eurovision Song Contest. I just sit with my laptop on my knee and tweet my observations, fuelled by a bottle of wine or two. I follow the @BBCEurovision account and have all the #Eurovision tweets live streaming.
It is actually one of THE BEST night of the year on Twitter. I'm convinced this type of social interaction is what Twitter was made for. And with the semi-finals that have been introduced, you can build up to the Saturday night excitement on BBC3. It's a party that lasts all week - genius! You can find your Eurovision Bingo Card at the bottom of this post, courtesy of Bob Bardsley of Phronsis Freelance.
This year, my friend Paula has excelled herself with a challenge we discussed earlier in the year. Here she is singing the alternative Eurovision Song Contest entry. And if we're struggling to find an entry (song and singer) next year, may I suggest that we pass the baton to Paula? The lyrics are below the video so you can sing along too.
Also, if you're at a loose end this evening, you might like to play along with the Friday Twiz (it's a quiz, on Twitter, on Friday - clever, huh?). Tonight's theme is... *checks list*... "Eurovision", obviously!
I Believe In Meat
You say you don't believe your beef's strictly bovine
You laugh at the thought that Tesco says it's fine, like wine.
You never eat lasagne, reckon that it's filled with horse, of course
And as for value burgers, no idea of their source, that's worse.
But that's all fine if that's how you want it to be
But if you're feeling hungry, a sausage could be all you need.
Believe in meat, yeah x 2
Believe in, the crap they're selling you and it may poison you.
You're finding bits of hoof so now they lie to you.
If you just believe Shepherd's Pie isn't eyes and knees
Believe in meat.
You've got a dicky tummy and staying near a loo is wise, that's why
The seconds and the minutes of the days of your life go crawling by.
But that's all fine if you're trying to lose a pound or three
But if you're feeling alone and afraid and you can't breathe.
Believe in meat, yeah.
Believe in, the crap they're selling you and it may poison you.
You're finding bits of hoof so now they lie to you.
If you'd just believe Shepherd's Pie isn't eyes and knees
Believe in meat.
What ya gonna do when your pie is sinking?
And you're crying out for help and paramedics listening
In the dark of the night, in the middle of a shite
When you're reaching out for loo roll and there's nothing.
Believe in meat, yeah
Believe in, the crap they're selling you and it may poison you.
You're finding bits of hoof so now they lie to you.
If you'd just believe Shepherd's Pie isn't eyes and knees
Believe in meat.
Eurovision Bingo Card
