In homage to Nancy Dell'Olio I thought I'd give you a run down of my average day.
(have a read of the above link first - takes you to a transcript of the original article)
I wake up early, despite the fact that I probably haven't got to bed before 12.15 am and have spent much of the night tossing and turning as I am a light sleeper. Oh, the tribulations of parentdom and the fact that I have to sleep with someone who snores. I am gifted to not need a lot of sleep. It's a good job really. I have a very busy schedule and if I sit down I am worried that I might nod off so I stand up again.
I would spend time drinking litres of water but I have a child to get up for school and a dog to feed. All this takes up valuable time so I just have a quick slurp of a cup of tea. If I had a dermatologist he would probably say that this isn't very good for my skin but I save money by looking in the mirror and coming to that conclusion myself.
I try not to arrive at work before 8.30 to allow me time to drive down the motorway safely. I like to answer my emails whilst scoffing down a banana and I check my diary to see what jobs are still on my to-do list. Once a day a man comes to visit my office. I don't think it's a secret; he is only delivering the post for that day. I occasionally walk a lap of the car park if the weather is nice but it's so difficult to find the time.
Since I was a child, people have looked at me, more usually trying to figure out who I am and why I had a German surname. I have endured bullying since I was small but I don't care. I'm blessed. The most important thing I have is my family. And it's part of my nature to take care of those around me before myself.
I'm have awful skin. It's very pale, you know, and it's threaded with broken veins. I dedicate lots of time to avoiding looking at myself. Lately I'm using a lot more foundation that I used to but I make sure I blend it in properly around the jawline and hairline. I love to look 39, like I look now. And it's my goal to look 70 at 70. Diet is important too. Food is just so yummy and I love to start diets on a Monday with all good intentions but find that I am bored by Friday so turn to the wine by about 6.45pm. The weekend starts here. I take anti-histamines for my hayfever and I should really have taken HRT after my hysterectomy eight years ago but forgot. When you're a blogger like me you need a 48-hour day to fit in the day job and the evening job.
I wish I had time to go shopping but I have to work. I'm very lucky that I have good work buddies so the day just flies by. I eat lunch at my desk. I don't know anyone who does as much as I do. I'm a Senior Administrator first of all. I look after the office and the company finances but it's boring to do one thing, so I blog. I'm working on this blog all the time and I have lot of ideas for my YouTube channel, but I can't mention them. I wish one day there'll be a movie about how I spend my day because it is quite intense.
I am a very lovely person. Women and men, they both love me because I am a bit daft and very loyal to my man. He doesn't need spoiling. He has his own credit card and buys his own things when he needs them. We have grown and adjusted together and we fit together perfectly. I see no-one else with either of us.
I always wanted children and grandchildren. When I was pregnant it was the most overwhelming emotion in the world. Each time I knew I would have all the time in the world for this new life that I was creating. I would shower them with attention - physical, material, psychological - it's the only way.
And I don't require attention back because it has never been expected. Sometimes it does get quite stressful. I'm special, you know, so when someone does something special, and without warning, for me I appreciate the very unique and intense experience. I'm not very demanding. It's very easy being me when you think about it.
In the afternoon, I make phone calls, I finish off my work, sort out the paperclips. I still have to learn how to relax. I would love to be at home, to have a bath with aromatherapy candles but I have always been concerned about the Health and Safety aspect and the fact that I can't step one foot into a deep bath without one member of my family calling my name and demanding my attention. I'm invited everywhere but I have to say no. It is so hard to get to PR events in London when you live all the way up in Lancashire so I watch lots of television - it's always been my passion - and I love reality shows. I'm sure the majority of people haven't sat up to watch the live feed of Big Brother until stupid o'clock just in case something happens. I can describe every series of I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here to you and I do know X-Factor very well.
Sometimes, if I'm too tired to take my make-up off, I'll just slide into bed without a care. I sleep on my side and my make-up slides off onto the pillow. Next morning I take off the pillow case and replace it with a fresh one.
I usually settle down by listening to podcasts on my phone - it's the only way I can relax and wind down and really switch my mind off. Maybe people will think I have nothing, maybe some will think I have everything. Nobody has everything. I am very privileged.
Written completely with my tongue in my cheek.
Does someone have the number of a good lawyer? Nancy maybe?