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Things To Do Before I Turn 50

  (also known as my "TA-DA" list as opposed to a "to do" list) It was my 49th birthday a few days ago and this got me thinking. Any birthday that ends with a zero always feels a bit like milestone or a landmark and, when I hit the big "five-o" in 2022, I don't want huge parties or celebrations but I would like to have ticked a few things off my low-effort bucket list.   I see these things as a way to improve my mental and physical health, plus a few slightly off-the-wall experiences that would make for great memories.  Start running again and include the following: Lead a C25K group again  Participate in parkrun EVERY week where possible  < ongoing (now parkrun Run Director too) Visit local landmarks whilst running  Train for a long race - building up from 5k > 10k > 10 miles > half marathon, with a couple of longer trail races mixed in  Lose a lot bit of weight Post more on Instagram or give the blog a bit of a reboot < ongoing Look at

Swearing. It IS big and it IS clever...

parental advisory gif
...especially if you claim you're using it as research for a degree!

Once upon a time, way back in the 1980's, a teacher in high school told a class of twenty-nine 15-year olds that is was neither big nor clever to swear.  She backed this up by explaining that swearing meant you were inserting an extra, unnecessary word into a sentence or using an expletive to replicate true anger.  I thought she should fuck off with her pontificating, as did approximately fourteen of my classmates.

The 40-year old me now realises that she had a point but swearing is just so much fun and really helps you express your exact emotion at that particular time.  Plus, making up swearwords is part of adult creativity.

Today, my mate Vix asked if I'd help her with a survey for her degree.  I am BORED. TO. TEARS. with requests from people to complete a survey to help them with research for their degree but Vix is a bit special in more ways than you need to know so I agreed to humour her.  Plus she said it was a 'swearing survey' and I thought I could take the piss.

It was THE most fun ever and you even get to share your favourite swear word (I swing between TWAT and CUNT BADGER) so I shared it out on Facebook and Twitter.  It was the most popular link I've ever posted and I immediately got some feedback for her:

Ruth:  Ranking obscenities according to offensiveness is my favourite way to spend Friday mornings so far
Tanya:  Disappointed the question asking, "Do you swear?" has only 'yes/no' and no 'fuck, yeah' answer
Jaqui:  That survey has made me realise how much I LOVE swearing!!
Simon:  That was the best fucking survey ever!

I didn't come here to impress none of you motherfuckers
So, if you're a bit bored over the weekend then you can amuse yourself by taking Vix's survey.  You can even make up a profanity for future use if you so wish.  And just so you have somewhere to let off steam, you can let ME know what your favourite swearword is too.  I fancy using a new one.