I have a Brilliant Blog

I know... it's like stating the obvious but at least someone has had the guts to say it.


My stalker good friend Cass over at The Diary of a Frugal Family has decided to create a new Blogging award just for me to give out to fellow bloggers who she thinks have "Brilliant Blogs".  I have acted all shocked and Gwyneth-like but it comes as no surprise...  Big headed?  Moi? *giggle*


So, I now have to do the usual and pass the 'award' on.  Who do I think is worthy of this award?  You know, I don't think there are any blogs out there that don't deserve it but if I give it to everyone then the meme would just stop here and that would be boring!


Here are my five recommendations for this week (and I'm trying to pick blogs that I haven't recommended before) - click through and save them as favourites because their recommendations will be just as good too:  

From Marketing To Milk  

Mummy Tips   

Baby Genie  

London City Mum  

Deer Baby  

You all know what to do - take the badge and pass it on to five more *wink*

Cancer - Your Story : My Choice

Editors note:  This is the story of "MummyMad" - the fourth in a series that I have called "Cancer - Your Story".  If you are interested in sharing your story please click on the link and contact me.

Related Links:

The Mad House (Blog)

All "Cancer - Your Story" posts

Cancer Research - http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/

Photo credit: D Sharon Pruitt - Pink Sherbert Photography

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I thought I would tell you my story, which is a story of how cancer touched my life and the choices I made.

Firstly the basics, I am a 36 year old stay at home mum to two very energetic and exuberant little boys aged nearly 4 (MiniMad) and 5 (MaxiMad) and wife of 15 years to MadDad. We used to live in Berkshire, but moved back to the northeast when I was pregnant with MiniMad.

Due to a family history of cancer and my Mum’s younger sister getting a pretty rare and unusual cancer (primary Peritoneal Cancer), she was tested for a number of genetic markers, or spelling mistakes in her genes. She had these tests when first diagnosed with cancer and we all thought nothing of it and tried to support her as best as we all could through her treatment and recovery.  About 11 months after her initial diagnosis she was informed that she carried the BRACA1 gene and was the testing was opened up to her siblings and her daughters. My Mum was then tested and found to also be positive for the spelling mistake and so I too was offered counselling and a test.

After the counselling and many late night discussions with MadDad, we decided I would have the test. I was very large breasted and also under 40 (so my breast tissue was denser) and mammograms were very hard to interpret. I was offered annual mammograms and even MRI’s, but felt that I would like to know if I did carry the spelling mistake, so that I could take positive action. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I was tested and found to be positive.

What did that mean for me? Well in very basic terms it meant that my risk of ovarian cancer was approx 60% lifetime risk and my chance of breast cancer were 85% lifetime risk. MadDad and I were floored, although we knew there was a 50% risk of being found positive, but it was such a massive blow.

Again we had counselling and lots of discussions with cancer specialists, people who had been though similar, a gynaecologist and a plastic surgeon. The first decision we made was to have my ovaries and fallopian tubes removed. There were studies that showed that having this operation before you turned 35 reduced your risk of breast cancer and also ovarian cancer is a difficult cancer to detect, lots of the symptoms are ones that woman just put down to the time of the month. Also I have two wonderful children and we decided to concentrate on me being able to watch them grow up rather than taking the chance of extending our family and something happening. This was such a hard decision for us, as our children were very hard come by and we would have loved a large family. Anyway decision made, I had my operation July 2008.

Next we made the decision to have a double mastectomy and reconstruction, again to me this was a bit of a no brainer, Hobson’s choice if you like. Doing this would reduce my risk of breast cancer from 85% to 6%. I would not have to have annual mammograms and live year to year wondering when cancer would come knocking on my door.  I felt that the treatment for cancer was worth avoiding. I had seen both my aunts suffer the indignities of cancer treatment and wanted to avoid at any costs my children going through the same.

So the hardest part of this decision was what type of reconstruction to go for, we had many meetings with my wonderful plastic surgeon and eventually decided on implants for a number of reasons, but mainly because recovery would be quicker and being well to enjoy my time with my children was my priority. Anyway a date for my operation was set 28 February 2009. I was going to have a profiatic bi-lateral mastectomy with a double reconstruction with implants (what a mouthful).

So I went into theatre that morning with my GG breasts and came out with what felt like none!!! A total of over 6.5 kg of breast tissue was removed and I was overjoyed. All went well. But it doesn’t end there unfortunately. I developed a very nasty infection and the implants had to be removed and then I developed sepsis, which was an horrendous experience not only for me, but for my wonderful family and friends. Needless to say it has been a very long road to recovery, but I am getting there.

I went back in to Hospital for some for some remedial work to enable me to wear my prosthetics at the beginning of November 2009 and I have not ruled out a reconstruction again at some point in the future.

But I am happy and I am looking forward to a long and healthy life with my family. Have I regretted my decision, would I have made a different choice? Well hindsight is a wonderful thing, but I made the right choice at that time for me and my family and that is what matters. There is no point in having any regrets, that is the past and I cannot change it. I have hopefully managed to change my future to a future without breast or ovarian cancer, to a future where I can watch my children grow up and flourish. To a future with my family. I am not brave, just realistic. I was given a choice, a chance that so many people are not given. Fortunately or unfortunately approximately only 5% of cancers are genetic, so I was so lucky to find out about my spelling mistake or faulty gene and I am hoping that when the time comes for the boys to be tested (if they wish to), not only will doctors be able to detect the fault, but rectify it too.

If in addition to the hope that my children haven’t inherited this from me, my only other wish would be to remain cancer free for as long as I can.  I try hard not to worry about the “other genetic” cancers that might come knocking.

Every now and again it all really gets to me, when I hear of another wonderful member of my family succumbing to this dreaded disease a little bit of my confidence is wiped away and I start to feel uncertain at my ability to beat it to, but I would do anything to remain with my family, with the ones that I love and love me. So what would you have done in my shoes?

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The Malteser Challenge

We all remember the Marshmallow challenge that was instigated by Heather at Notes from Lapland, don't we?

(you can view my attempt here)  

Well, here is the follow-up

The Malteser Challenge

How long can YOU balance a malteser in mid air using only the power of your breath?

(staring Jake, age 11)

The Gallery : Still Life

There was another picture I wanted to use but I haven't had the chance to go out this week so I'm using two others instead.  

This is an old picture of my son, Jake, on the park.  I managed to capture him right at the top of the 'swing' - where indeed it is 'still' for a split second before it swings back down again!

Also, as there have been a lot of food-related Gallery posts, I thought you might like to see my cake! Yum!

Think yourselves lucky - you almost got this picture...

* * *

This blog post was submitted for the weekly Gallery over at Sticky Fingers.  This week's theme was 'Still Life'.  

This digital art Gallery is all linked at Sticky Fingers and you can see all of this weeks entries >>> here <<<

Related Links:

http://typecast2000.blogspot.com/search/label/gallery 

The Ashes

"They sent our John through the post!  Can you believe it?"

This is how Auntie Bertha greeted us when we turned up at Great Uncle John's 'funeral'.  

A bit of background:  It was 1983 and my Grandpa's brother lived alone in London.  He sadly passed away - I believe through lung cancer but it was never really spoken about until my dad caught me smoking when I was thirteen - and my grandpa went to the Big Smoke to make immediate arrangements and to clear his flat.  A cremation was conducted during those few days, however The Ashes had to be sent somewhere... somehow... and the Great British postal service seemed to be the best answer.

It was a small family gathering - just eight of us - me, my parents, my sister, my mums aunt and uncle, my Grandpa and Auntie Bertha (who, at the time, was probably around 80 years old and carrying The Ashes).  There was to be no service; just an evening burial of The Ashes in the family grave.  We arrived at the church and knocked on the Vicarage door.  No answer.  We heard a noise in the background so all eight of us perambulated round the side of the house...  We saw (what we thought was) a gardener, digging away at the flower bed.

My dad took charge (as usual) and explained to the gardener that we were looking for the vicar for a pre-arranged appointment.  The man dug his spade into the soil, checked his watch, did a double-take and started apologising profusely.  It appeared that he was the vicar and that time had ran away with itself.  He excused himself to wash his hands and get changed, then reappeared, suited and booted frocked and socked and led us towards the grave.

The vicar had a vague idea of where the grave in question was so he wandered around the graveyard reading each stone, the rest of us playing 'Follow My Leader', with Auntie Bertha taking up the rear with The Ashes. 

The procession eventually found the family grave - the very overgrown family grave - the very overgrown family grave that hadn't been visited in at least ten years... and it was obvious that there had been no preparations made; no hole had been dug for The Ashes!  

No problem!  The vicar remembered the spade he had abandoned in the garden of the Vicarage and ran to retrieve it.  He returned... but also brandishing a petrol  lawnmower!  He explained that the grave looked slightly overgrown so thought that a quick "tidy up" would be in order.  It took a couple of attempts to start up the machine but the grave was quickly tidied up once it was running.  The vicar then suggested that, whilst the mower was running, it wouldn't do any harm to whiz up and down the other graves to give them a quick shape-up!  Uncle Rod, my Grandpa and my dad looked at each other in bewilderment, paused for a few minutes whilst watching the vicar running up and down the graves with the mower, his frock billowing behind him, rolled their sleeves up and took it in turn to dig.

Auntie Bertha was beside herself by this time, crying with laughter, saying how 'our John' would have loved this.

Once the hole had been dug and the mower turned off, the 'service' took place - Uncle John was interred with a few holy words and then we all walked away from the grave, the adults helplessly and silently shaking with laughter... and my sister and I looking on in bewilderment.

Choose Your Words Carefully

Words are powerful tools.  I've discovered that since I started blogging.  I also have discovered how difficult it is to order them correctly since I started experimenting with different styles of writing.  Your words could have a massive influence on someone's life - whether that be positive or negative.


Similarly, in every day life, when speaking to other people why shouldn't you think before you speak?  Yes, there are ways of being witty, sarcastic, clever, thoughtful... but what about using expressions that will stay with someone for the rest of their lives?


When I found out that my daughter had cancer, an aunt of mine said that "it was God's way of testing her".  


Huh?!  Say what?  Jesus wept!!! 
(yes, I realise the irony there)


To this day I have no idea why she said that (other than being a devout Catholic and an unquestioning believer in her faith, for which I have some respect).  And because of her age and position in our family, I had no way of querying why she said what she did.  Did she believe that God would really smite our daughter (or any human being who He had created?) with such a cruel and unforgiving disease?  What if she hadn't survived?  Would that have meant that God deemed her not worth of this Earth and her life?


Another single sentence said to me one day by my mum has stayed with me, and always will, but for very different reasons  When I met my (now) husband at age 18 and left home, my parents made it blatantly obvious that they didn't approve of him and/or our relationship.  Nine years later, whilst pregnant with my third child, we were sat in a coffee shop and she said, "I'm sorry for doubting your relationship.  I was wrong."  Mum and dad had recently split up after 30 years of marriage - maybe that's what made her say what she did?  Was she reassessing how relationships work?  I never courted approval from my parents but to hear her say that after so long just struck a chord.  


Is it as simple as "if you haven't got anything nice to say, then don't say anything"?  I don't think so, really.  I think it's more about having freedom of speech but respecting the prerogative.  I've probably said something horrible without meaning to along the way - if it was you, I apologise.  I hope I've also said something intelligent or humorous or inspirational to someone.  Surely we can all take that split second to assess what effect our words will have on the other person and whether it is actually worth it?

Picture credit: Google Images