My husband had one of his bright ideas one evening in June.  He started a local recycle group on Facebook.  Initially, it was because he had four dining chairs that were "free to a good home" but thought it would be community spirited to keep the group going seeing as though we don't have a local Freecycle/Freegle group any more.  Well, that last bit is a lie but it is run by a bunch of tossers who can't even control their own membership and have no idea how to manage email settings... but I digress.

Because I'm "good with words" he made me an admin on the group (oh joy *eye roll*) and asked me to design some basic rules.  Dead easy!
Dear members.  Please post as follows:
No adverts, no spam, no profanity.
Admins reserve the right to remove posts.

That's nice and simple, isn't it?  You're not confused by that are you?  Didn't think so.

It all started falling apart at the seams when I saw this:
OFFERED : 2 SHELVES : [postcode near us]

Cool.  Shelves.  I need some of those for my study.  Then I did a bit of a double take.  MY OWN HUSBAND WAS OFFERING THEM!!

I shouted through to the other room, "Oi, twatty.  What shelves?  I NEED SHELVES!"
"Sorry, love," he replies, "I thought you knew I had them.  They're in the other room."
The were hidden in a carrier bag in the corner of the room and were perfect.  I went back on to the Facebook group and saw that Kev had posted
Shelves now taken.  Thank you.
I couldn't resist.  I posted underneath
"Yes, I took them.  I thought I'd have had first dibs on them anyway".
"Local pick up too!" (says Graham - one of the members)
"I bet he still charges me the "man and van" fee of £30" 

So the group continued and the membership grew even more.  It's not a difficult group to moderate although they can waffle on for England and there's always a couple of jokers when the beer is flowing on a Friday night (OFFERED : headache : free to good home).  As is the way of humans, we always want something for nothing and, as is the nature of these types of groups, there is always more "Wanted" posts than "Offered" posts.

It's getting silly now though and I'm doing all I can not to shout at people.  Do you KNOW how difficult that is for me?  Well, actually you probably do!

Wanted : double bed (this was reposted four times)
Wanted : garden table and chairs (posted on the first day of sunshine)
Wanted : washing machine, cooker, fridge freezer for single mum (even *I* don't have a fridge freezer)
Wanted : swinging garden seat and trampoline (for your mansion?)
Needed : wardrobe and drawers (Needed?  Cheeky fucker)
Wanted : old lambretta or vespa scooter (of course...)
Wanted : cabin bed.  Must be able to deliver (give. me. strength.)
Wanted : Nintendo DS and games.  Must be good condition and fully working. (shakes head)
and the best one...
Wanted : ironing board (FOR FUCKS SAKE - they're about £10 at Argos brand new!)
Why aren't more people offering items?  At the time of writing, if I take my socks off, I can count on my fingers and toes the amount of "OFFERED" items.  I don't want to become an arsey twat like the previous mentioned Freecycle/Freegle (or whatever they are called these days) moderators but if they don't learn to give as much as they take then I might have to stop sitting on my hands and tell them all to stop being greedy, needy bastards.

Oh, and if you're a member of that group and you're reading this I don't mean you.  Obviously! *wink*