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Things To Do Before I Turn 50

  (also known as my "TA-DA" list as opposed to a "to do" list) It was my 49th birthday a few days ago and this got me thinking. Any birthday that ends with a zero always feels a bit like milestone or a landmark and, when I hit the big "five-o" in 2022, I don't want huge parties or celebrations but I would like to have ticked a few things off my low-effort bucket list.   I see these things as a way to improve my mental and physical health, plus a few slightly off-the-wall experiences that would make for great memories.  Start running again and include the following: Lead a C25K group again  Participate in parkrun EVERY week where possible  < ongoing (now parkrun Run Director too) Visit local landmarks whilst running  Train for a long race - building up from 5k > 10k > 10 miles > half marathon, with a couple of longer trail races mixed in  Lose a lot bit of weight Post more on Instagram or give the blog a bit of a reboot < ongoing Look at

As Long As He Needs Me

I felt his finger trace my spine from top to bottom.  If I'd have been able, I would have let out a sigh of pleasure.  I know he only loved me for my inner knowledge and the stories I could tell but, when he wrapped his strong hands around me and gently picked me up, I knew that we would both be satisfied within a few minutes.


I didn't care that our interaction took such a short period of time; the reason I existed was to appease him.  We always captured snatched moments together; one of us with a hint of doubt and embarrassment, the other eager to totally surrender.

He tenderly laid me on the table and expertly opened me up - exposed for all to see.  With one finger, he gently stroked me in places that plenty of people had been before.  There had been so many that all their faces blurred into one.  Only he mattered now; he was the one who needed me.

He looked at me, fleetingly up and down.  He murmured something under his breath and then as he released a guttural cry of exclamation, I knew he was finished with me.  I didn't feel used this time; I knew he'd be back for more.

He straightened me up, ensuring that nothing was out of place.  He lifted me once more, placed me back on the shelf between A-D and I-L and he walked away.